1) Could you introduce yourself?
Hiii, I’m Alyanna, I’m 19 years old, a sophomore in college majoring in Anthropology, and I’m from California! Well, actually, I was born in the Philippines and moved to the United States at two years old. The very first state I lived in was Mississippi, then California a couple years later, then I shuffled around a bunch of cities in California, and I’m still here :) I love reading, writing, watching films, baking/cooking, listening to music, and hanging out with my cat.
2) How long have you been writing for?
I mean, I’ve written little stories since I was around five or six with pictures and everything (pretty decent plots too, in my humble opinion), but I suppose my first experience in writing that actually set the blueprint was middle school. Oh gosh, I have to admit that I really got into writing and sharing my writing because I was a little preteen geek obsessed with Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Hunger Games— too many fandoms to name. My participation in fan culture and reading fanfiction eventually led to me writing my own Harry Potter fanfics on Wattpad, then publishing some original stories and poetry on that same Wattpad account as well. Gradually, I diverged from my Wattpad/fangirl interests and continued writing in my own journals, but I’m very grateful for the wonderful friends I met through Wattpad and the confidence I gained from being part of such a supportive and talented community. Also, it’s always fun when people ask how I got into writing and I can recount my fangirl fanfic roots LOLL.
3) What are some things that you regularly write about?
A recurring theme in my writing is loneliness and desire. Not even in a purely romantic sense. Sure, I write about romance and heartbreak, but I also write about girlhood in isolation, of yearning to break free from existing or imagined constraints, of anxieties surrounding a potential future where dreams and hopes might be left unfulfilled. All my writing is deeply personal, whether I like it or not. Most of my work consists of first-person narratives, and mostly all of it has been for cathartic purposes— to release all my woes into art, to take something pessimistic or bitter and turn it into something that could maybe be a source of connection and beauty.
4) What are some things that inspire your work?
My identity and memories fuel my writing. To name a few: being raised by my grandparents until 2, then brought to America by parents I couldn’t even recognize, growing up feeling out of place everywhere and constantly moving around, along with just all the heartaches and triumphs that come with being an immigrant, a Filipino living in the diaspora, the first born daughter, and everything between girlhood to womanhood. This mosaic of who I am inspires all my work, and I continue to gain inspiration from the people I love and the world that surrounds me.
5) If you had to choose one person to list as your greatest inspiration, who would it be and why?
My mother. She has always encouraged me to pursue my passions and empowered me to be the best version of myself that I can be. As a girl, my mother always took me to the local library and ignited my love for reading, writing, and exploring the world around me. She’s also the kindest, most patient person I know. Even when we fight, somehow her gentleness shines through and cuts through my stubbornness. I think a lot of my thoughts on love, life, and happiness are directly inspired from my mother.
6) What's your favourite book?
The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry! I know it’s technically a children’s story, but I read it for the first time in highschool. The way it deals with growing up, friendship, love, time, and so much more has guaranteed it a place in my heart forever.
7) Out of all the poetry you've written, which one is your favourite?
AAAAH This is such a hard question 😭I suppose my favorite piece that I’ve written is Mama.
Mama
Some people view time as a circle;
there is cosmos, place, sacred, and being.
The world cycles with no beginning or end;
A revolution of heavenly bodies dancing around infinity—
the stars, the planets, the moon, and sun;
birth, life, death, regrowth
8) What is it about?
As the name may suggest, this piece is about my mother, or rather—me thinking about my mother and the whole concept of motherhood. I think the bond between mothers and daughters is so complex and multifaceted. For me it’s like, I love you and I know you love me too, but sometimes you’ve hurt me and I know I’ve hurt you too and was it all worth it? Is this life truly enough for you? Am I enough for you? Am I a selfish woman and only self-projecting for assuming that you might want more? I wrote this piece after seeing a photo of my mama at the beach. She was still a young woman, smiling and beaming in a swimsuit. Standing in front of the ocean, she looked so beautiful and carefree. For reasons I can’t perfectly describe, it made me cry. I think sometimes we forget our mothers had mothers too, that at one point in time they were all girls with hopes and dreams and never ending possibilities. They promised to live happy lives unlike their mothers; they swore they’d marry a kind man and raise a happy family. I feel both a guilt and a gratefulness for all my mother has sacrificed for me. As I enter my 20s, I think a lot about how my own life may turn out. Everything I feel, I try to make sense of it all by writing it out.
9) What is some advice you'd give to your younger self?
I’d like to tell little me that it gets better. My childhood was very turbulent; adolescence was even bumpier— but I’ve experienced so many beautiful things along the way that little me could have only imagined. If I could go back, I would reassure her and give her a big hug. I’d also tell the younger version of myself to not be afraid and to seize the chances and opportunities that come my way. I know that’s vague, but I mean it in a holistic way. I’ve always been the kind of person who is sort of petrified of change, of rejection, of looking foolish. However, when I began to put myself out there and actively seek out the things I wanted, my life changed drastically for the better. I believe in the butterfly effect, and I can truly trace every good thing that I have today to a minor interaction, a chance meeting, or a seemingly small decision. Others might say no/reject you, but don’t ever say no/reject yourself first. If you want anything, you need to be willing to stumble (and you will stumble quite a few times), but each bump teaches you something valuable and leads you closer to better experiences and opportunities. All in all, I’d say: don’t be afraid to take initiative and put yourself out there because that is how you create the life you want to live and become the person you want to be.
10) Where do you see yourself in a decade?
Ideally, in a decade: I wake up in my own sunny apartment filled with books and records I can somehow afford due to my super cool and successful and stable career as a lawyer and writer. My cat is doing cat stuff, living it up in his own world. I might also have someone who loves me and lives with me in said apartment. We cook breakfast and drink coffee together. I keep in contact and close correspondence with all my friends, and I visit my family often. Whether I’m with someone or not, I go out and explore the beautiful city I live in (preferably by the beach). I also travel a lot and get to see many parts of the world, meeting interesting people and intertwining our lives together, even if for just a short time.
In a decade, I honestly want to have most of my shit figured out. I want to be able to breathe without worry. I want to feel safe and secure in who I am. I hope to say that I am living a life I can be proud about.
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